Hi my name is Gary. I am an alcoholic. Just kidding, I'm really not an alcoholic. Although I am gay. I am here to take you on a fun filled journey of getting to know myself. Sounds like fun right? What else do have to do other than reading about other peoples problems? That's what I thought...
I am in my early 20's and am finally realizing that yes I am gay and maybe I should start excepting it. I'm pretty sure I've known from a young age that I wasn't like other boys. There was just something too fun about playing dress up with my sisters Barbies when I was little. Thanks for being there for me Barbie ;)
I think as soon as I hit my teenage years is when I really started denying the fact that I was gay. I didn't share some of the same interest in girls as some of my "boy" friends did and always kept my comments to myself on the subject of them. During my school years I had mostly "girl" friends and very few guy friends. For this I was labeled a fag or queer. This was the beginning of an indestructible shell I would soon find my self hiding in.
Growing up had to be the worst experience of my life. My childhood and adolescent years made me become very insecure about myself and caused a whirl of personal battles I had to overcome to make it through my teenage life alive. Despite the obstacles, I finally made it through high school, even though it was through an alternative route it was definitely an accomplishment.
Today I'm over most of my personal battles and actually turned out alright. Out of all the things I went through I ended up with good morals and the ability to make smart decisions. Right now I am at a junior college continuing my general education courses in hopes that one day I'll actually finish and move on to another school. I have a very respectable job that pays decent and that I'm happy to work for. I would rather not reveal any specifics, but it involves health care.
The only battle I have left to fight is the one that counts the most. Accepting who I really am and not being afraid to do it. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and really want to start making noticeable progress. Only a few of my close friend know the "real me" and I would soon like to make that everyone.
So I see this blog as a big cyber shoulder to cry on when I have nobody to talk to and a place to vent and get things out of my system when I need to.
More to come...
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4 comments:
Props and sincere wishes of good luck little bro. Was just randomly passing by...
awww...boywonder..I dono if i should be happy or sad for u...is it really true?.when lil boys play with barbies and only wanna play with dolls will grow up as gays? I have a nephew who's like that..wat abt an adult who keeps all his fingernails long?..is there also a tendency?.
I was blog hopping then came across yrs.....
I kind of knew already. There was always something about you that reminded me of a really good friend who is gay. But I never wanted to assume anything. No wonder you and Betty are soo close. J/K. I love you anyway and I'm glad you are finally letting it all out.
Thanks for the sweet coments. I love you too! I always knew it would be cool with you and Brooke. I should have told you sooner!
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