"Out"... A short gay story.

(My ass with pride stickers on each butt cheek. This picture does me no justice:i)

The past week has been life changing for me and has opened up a whole new chapter in my life. These are the events that took place this week that I will never forget.

Let's start with last weekend, Saturday July 22nd. Tonight will be my first night "out" in a public place where I won't be hiding my true identity. I am going to a gay club with Emily and two of my newest gay friends C and J. They are boyfriends. I mentioned "C" in an earlier post. We went to a club in Hillcrest which is San Diego's gay capital. At first I was a little nervous but soon loosened up when I got a few drinks down.
With a good buzz going C and I hit the dance floor and began dancing while J and Emily stayed on the sidelines to chat. They're not big dancers, although Emily is getting more comfortable with her moves...lol ;) Later on that night when the club started getting busier there were more people dancing and I of course was a little more intoxicated. As a result of this, guys started coming up to me from all directions and started dancing with me. This was my first time dancing with another guy. I became comfortable almost instantly and had a blast. C and J left pretty early, so it was up to Emily and I to finish off the night with more great dancing and people meeting. I was getting freaky with a couple other guys the rest of time there and Emily found her a nice lady friend to dance with. It was a great and exciting night and won't be forgotten.

Wednesday July 26th

With overpowering thoughts of denial and fear going through my head stronger than ever, I decide that I need to do something. I found out that Pride is this weekend and told Emily I would go with her. It would be a first for both of us. Lately I have been more comfortable with things and have been getting closer and closer to letting the truth out. After intense thinking and wanting to go to gay pride with a clear conscious, I decided to come out to everyone before I go to pride.

This morning I told my mother I was gay. It was really hard for me to spit it out and just tell her, but when it was done everything was fine. (I knew it would be) We sat down and talked for like an hour. My mother is the coolest ever. I felt a million times better just letting her know.

Thursday July 27th

With Pride approaching fast and not a lot of time to spare, I decided to let everyone else in on the big secret. This was all the rest of my immediate friends. I wanted to do it fast and cover everyone at once, so I decided to do it the 2006 way and I sent a massive text message to everyone. 28 messages total, because each message was four cell phone pages long. It was Thursday morning at like 0730 in the morning. I knew it would throw off everyone’s day, hahaha that’s why I enjoyed it so much. I got nothing but the best responses that I ever imagined getting. I am truly lucky to have all the kind and supportive friends that I do.

Friday July 28th ~ Pride Kick Off Party

Tonight is the kick off night for pride weekend. All the clubs are doing promotional parties for the event. Emily and I headed to Numbers one of the local clubs in the Hillcrest area. Tonight was also lesbian night...every Friday. So...I did it for Emily and that’s about it. There was like no men in the freakin club at all. To make things more interesting though, we brought my best friend V who is straight. HAHA wow this is great, first time to a gay club and hey! It’s lesbian night! My friend was thrilled ;) I had a really good time and got to show my best friend how I shake my booty. I feared only about half the night that I may get my but kicked by a big mean looking lesbian...man some of these chicks look like body guards! No thanks. We stayed till the club closed of course, then headed to the late night drive-thru and went home.

Saturday July 29th ~ Pride Day 1

After a very long and eventful night at the club and after only sleeping like four hours, we headed back out to Pride. All of us felt like shit the whole morning and most of the afternoon from drinking the night before. Parking in this city was absolutely impossible. We had to park like ten blocks just from the beginning of the parade. This really sucked. After walking a million miles from the car to the parade, it was another umm… I don't know? twenty blocks until we reached the pride festival. Yeah I know...my ass was tired after all that shit. The parade was cool, we just walked the whole route stopping every once in a while to watch the hot sexy guys in thongs dancing upon brightly colored floats. There were some anti-gay protesters there that were clearly out numbered by gay people that were holding signs that said stupid shit like "Homo sex is a sin" and my personal favorite, " Homosexuality is a threat to national security". Sorry but we're not the one's that are the threat to national security.

After many miles of walking and wanting to just die, we finally made it to the festival. It was like homo heaven. Inside besides all the hot ass people were tents of food, beer gardens, political bull crap, porn promotions, lube/condom stands, jewelry, and many other LGBT type things. We spent the whole day walking around and around this place admiring the people and enjoying all the diversity. My best friend V was with us again and was enjoying all the really hot guys with no shirts on. "They don't even seem to be gay!?, if I saw them walking down the street I would have never guessed." This is what V was telling me. She learned a good lesson that day, it was like homo 101 for her. After walking around for several hours we decided to get some drinks and sit in the grass and listen to a very interesting performance by an unknown urban rock/rap group. Then there was a woman who performed after them that sounded like she ate her diary from high school and threw it up into the microphone. Yeah. That was exciting. With all of us feeling sick and tired from being up all day and night, we called it a day at the park and started our long journey on foot back to the car. Well on foot was the original plan. After walking a couple blocks I decided for all of us that we needed to have one of those bicycle taxi dudes peddle our asses back as close to the car as possible. We all piled in to one and it was so tight that Emily had one ass cheek on each of our knees. I told her she looked like she was a star in the parade because she was sitting so high, lol. Yay! We made it back to the car and headed for some food then home.

Later that night...

After regrouping at my house for just a short while, we had already made plans to return to the club for some more Pride celebrating. Emily took like a 30 min. nap and I really wanted to but didn't get a chance to. I stayed up importing pictures from the day on to my computer. V had school early Sunday morning so she didn't return to the club with us.
Emily and I returned to the club around 0930-1000pm and started getting our drink on. She was driving so she had to drink responsibly, "bless your cotton socks" Emily. I returned to my drunken self quite fast because I downed four mixed drinks down in like less than an hour. Yikes! I normally don't do that but I was ready to make up for the lovely lesbian fest from the night before. I must say that I got pretty down and dirty on the dance floor. Something just came over me and I completely lost control. I have to say that yes there was some lip locking going on and yes with three different guys, I know I'm a club slut right? Also, because I know if you don't hear it here, you'll hear from Emily...yes I some how ended up with a hicky on my neck. How did that happen? :p For everyone’s information I did not take anything farther then that and I was responsible. So the time at the club was going strong all night and we had a great time.

Time to go home though. After the club closed we followed our new routine and hit the drive-thru and went home to sleep, for a couple hours anyways...

Sunday July 30th ~ Pride Day 2

Well what the hell do you know? We're going back to Pride today. At this point sleep is just optional. I have not rested my body in like four days and I am surprised I have not passed out yet. Emily and I both agreed to play it low key today. We made it back to the festival at around one in the afternoon which was a little more reasonable. Today we walked around and had funnel cake, yummy! After eating and relaxing a little bit, we headed for the piercer. That’s right, I said piercer. Emily the impulse person decided to get her tongue pierced. I was excited for her and took pictures to document the whole experience. You can see them here. Later on my friend S and one of her friends from work B came to meet us. We went to the beer gardens with them first and had a cocktail and talked. After walking around some more and eating again we finally called it a gay weekend and went home.

I hope you all enjoyed the little gay adventure and I look forward to telling you more about my new experiences.

Life is finally okay for me now.
~Gary

Super Sexy

Last Friday Betty and I went and saw Superman Returns. Five stars from me! The movie was great, and even if it wasn't I still would have thought it was great. Superman is a "super" hunk :)

So aside from the super hero business, my life has just been peachy. I am in the middle of a seven day in a row streak with work and I am coming close to loosing my freaking head. Thank god I will be taking a three day weekend off at the end of all this chaos.

This brings me to my next topic of rather pointless conversation. This weekend my "boy" friend is taking my out to do a little club'n. Not just any oh club'n either...no no. Homo club'n. Yes! it is going to be my official first time in a gay bar and I am rather gung ho about the whole thing. I think it will go smoothly. I like to dance already and with a few drinks in me I'll be good to go ;) He may be bringing his boy friend with him which is cool because I've been waiting to meet him. Either way we will have a good time, and I won't be working.

This whole working a million hour thing and barely having a life thing pretty much sucks sometimes. I was telling a friend not to long ago that it would all seem so much better if I had someone to come home to. It's just so depressing coming home to an empty apartment. It would be nice to have that special someone to compare crapy days with and snuggle up with on the couch and watch reruns of classic sitcoms....stuff like that. Well hopefully it won't be like this for much longer because I'm single and ready to mingle, lol. I'm so lame.

Well enough is enough. I'm going to bed now.

Feeling Confident...

Hello! It's been a while since I've blogged and I am back with some turn of events. First I would like to address my friends who have recently been informed of my big secret. I hope you guys understand the emotions behind not being able to reveal my true self all this time. I know you will respect me now for coming clean and can hopefully help me on my way to being completely free.

Lately I have been more comfortable in my skin. I have been trying to act more like "me" and trying not to hold back anything. I've finely come to terms with myself and have decided that I am who I am and that's that. Why should I have to pretend anymore? I still have a few more things left to do as far as coming all the way out goes. I still have to do the "parent talk", which I'm soooo not looking forward to, even though it may go the smoothest out of all the people I tell.

There is someone new in my life that has been a great influence on me lately and has really helped me see things about myself that I never could before. I will of course not be disclosing his name on here but I can tell you a little about him. I met him online (give me a chance to explain...Don't go rolling your eyes) He is close friends with someone I used to work with when I was sixteen. I have been talking to him online off and on for about a year now and finally met him in person a couple months ago. First I would like to say how attractive this boy is, wow. Unfortunately he is taken. Just gives me something harder to work for I guess :p. Anyways, moving along. He has given me good insight on being a young gay man and has made my future look not so bad anymore. I am grateful for him and lucky to have him as a friend. You'll hear more about him later I'm sure.

So basically I am progressing very nicely and hopefully will soon be able to overcome all my fears and be as happy as I'm supposed to be. Right now I am working my tail off at a job that I very much like, so all is well there. I will be returning to school this fall with the greatest attempt to complete some classes ever. You know what I'm talking about if you know me in person or if you've read from another of my posts. I think that is all I have to report at the moment but will for sure be updating more frequently.

Until next time, take care...